Is It Over?


And I want to do an ironman, to  put 140 + miles in one day on this leg?  Crazy. Seriously, it is hit or miss if I can make it to the bathroom when I first get out of bed.  The left leg often won't hold me up at first.  There has been a fall into my trainer bike in the middle of the night and many unsteady, painful times getting out of bed.    Really?  Can this be something God wants me do?  How can this be His purpose for me?  What is the benefit?   Most of the purpose, suffering, and training are done without notice of anyone: who can benefit except the orthopedic surgeon eventually? 
 
Face it.  You're fat, you're old, your uninteresting, and no one cares what you are doing with this or what you have to say through it.   Who is going to be impressed for the Glory of God by  an old sack of bones doing something insane?  It seems more like senility verification.  So what's the sense in the suffering?  Why do this anymore?  Is it over?

Age has beat me down to some extent, but  it has taught me this:  just about the time it really gets to looking ridiculous to the  human rationale: just about the time you are  about out of bullets, that is the point where God can move in more closely and do the work He has started in you.  When God shows up can't, ridiculous and impossible are all swept aside.  In the clear light of the only reality, God remains, standing in the gap, beckoning us on and through.

So, I choose not to believe that I can't do this because at times  I have trouble walking.  I choose to ignore the sounds of ridiculous for my age.  I choose to ignore the apparent impossibility of the huge task before  me  and that not many  my age attempt this stuff.  So I choose to live in the land of "nevertheless,"  where God wants me to "run the race that is set before me."


 
Use me God.  Show me how to  take who I  am, who I want to be, and what I can do, and use it for a purpose greater than myself

Martin Luther King

"I will lift my eyes to the mountains-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2
 




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