Moments

    So much fuzzy emptiness at this age.  The older I get the more I realize I don't know.  Finally having wisdom enough to know that I don't know, faith comes much easier.  Earthly life seems like the train that left the station without me, leaving me holding on to my suitcase, watching a younger world clank away noisily down the tracks without me.   Oh, it isn't bad.  I have my suitcase of valuables, my friends, family, but supremely, my relationship with God.  And, that relationship grows more and more intimate watching the train that once was my life, disappearing down the tracks without me.   Of course, I often wish for what I once had and will never have again, Of course, I wish I had a little more life to live, a little more time on the train, though I am not sure why. It's natural, I guess. Sure, there are things I wish I had done, and things I wished I had done better, but that doesn't seem to matter as much now.  I filled my bucket list but can'

This cross is in a field very near my road to the house - easily seen by visitors.   A visitor once asked me who is the cross for.  It must have looked like sort of a makeshift graveyard.  I said the cross is for me.  Now there are several crosses on my place here just as visible.  And, all the crosses are for me.  Selfish behavior? Just a moment. The crosses are not some sort of ornaments celebrating my faith in Jesus, or my allegiance to the Gospel.  Those crosses are not to be as billboards to advertise what a great Christian I am.   No, the crosses are for me, because I am just a man, weak and fragile on my own.  I easily forget about Jesus and succumb to the world's temptations, of self-seeking, consumptive behavior.  I too often yield to the pride that could so easily destroy my witness.  I need Jesus.  I need the cross to get me through this gauntlet called life until He takes me home.   When I see my cross it reminds me who and what I am and who the real I AM is.  It remind