Moments

  The other day someone started trying to tell me that, even though he knew I was religious and all that the heaven and hell and God thing was just a bunch of bull to make us feel better. I listened for a few moments.  He has expressed this before but never stayed on it so long, and finally, I did what I should have done all along, long before this.  I defended my faith. I expressed my surety of salvation, and my trust in God as Lord of my life and giver of life.   I told him he was wrong. He told me I was wrong. We departed company.  I  wondered if I could have witnessed better in a manner a little less challenging?  Perhaps, but at the same time though, any remaining doldrums of faith received a shock charge to increased vitality, as I firmly expressed my faith.   I closed any distance to God in a moment.  Sometimes I wonder if sometimes confrontation, even persecution is a tool to enable our faith to come out from hiding from the world and from ourselves.  Perhaps we need to know an

Over the years, running has always had a spiritual aspect to it.  And, some of the most memorable runs were in less than desirable conditions.  I still remember the run my son and I had on a country road when a storm of sorts came in.  It wasn't lightning too bad but the wind was blowing fiercely and the rain was pouring down.  A driver just happened to come by and asked if we needed a ride.  It was very nice of him since we were soaking wet and would have gotten the interior of his vehicle wet.   But we were having fun; a strange kind of exhilaration that difficult situations can induce.  We thanked the man extensively, and with a small smile and shaking of his head, he rolled up his window and drove on.   I've had other great runs in the rain, but none lately.  The elder years find me more tame than I like to see myself.   However, like so many others my age, I seem to find a way to keep passion and risk at bay by doing the same things the same way.  But not today.  Rain and

  Weeds.  What are the weeds that come between us and our vision of the cross and what it means in our lives?   This stump was fitted to have a cross put on it.  However, it was hard to mow close to the stump and weeds grew high around the cross.  In a way it was emblematic of the cross rising and protruding among the weeds of the world, standing higher to give us hope in a weedy world.  Sometimes our lives are a weed patch of our failings, our turning aside from our called purpose to yield to the way of the world.   Out of this weed patch  of a  world, the cross rises boldly proclaiming the Love of God and the eternal hope in the resurrection.   I need to see that cross clearly.  I need to clear the weeds between me and God to get the full impact of that Hope offered in the cross.   Jesus said, " I am the resurrection and the life; he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.  Belivest thou this?"

  Ever had a bad patch with God?  Seems that here, right on the eve of Easter, I find God distant.  Looking for causes I wonder if it is because my athletic life went south, or that we have been sick for a month, or that the church has been a disappointment?  I am not sure.  I just know God and I are not as close as once were.   Funny thing though,  I don't believe in Him any the less.  I still love Him and know He loves me.  I will still celebrate the resurrection in a few days.  I believe.   Yes, I believe but I can't seem to touch Him and He touch me where it hurts.  So, I guess this is where faith comes into play; when we believe in the dark when we can't see or feel God; like Jesus on the cross - "my God why have you forsaken me?"   The feeling of being forsaken did not stop His obedience to God.   So there it is.  My calling- believe and obey in the dark.  The light will come.  There will be Easter in my life as well.

 

    So much fuzzy emptiness at this age.  The older I get the more I realize I don't know.  Finally having wisdom enough to know that I don't know, faith comes much easier.  Earthly life seems like the train that left the station without me, leaving me holding on to my suitcase, watching a younger world clank away noisily down the tracks without me.   Oh, it isn't bad.  I have my suitcase of valuables, my friends, family, but supremely, my relationship with God.  And, that relationship grows more and more intimate watching the train that once was my life, disappearing down the tracks without me.   Of course, I often wish for what I once had and will never have again, Of course, I wish I had a little more life to live, a little more time on the train, though I am not sure why. It's natural, I guess. Sure, there are things I wish I had done, and things I wished I had done better, but that doesn't seem to matter as much now.  I filled my bucket list but can'