Renewal

Scripture says, "For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day."

Outward abilities have never been present and time lessens them even more. Could it be that I am a little old for this? I don't know. Is the way it is supposed to go down when one reaches this time in life?

However, if I am to be pulled down, and if I am to obey the "suppose to" as prescribed for my age by conventional wisdom, then what I am I going do with this fire that still burns inside? What am I going to do with the fire God put there, the fire that He seems to fan to flame higher every time I consider following "supposed to" off into the night. In the presence of the flame God gave me, I must "faint not" and wait upon, depend upon the renewal that God gives.

"And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. And it was so, when Elijah heard it that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out and stood in the entering in the of the cave.----" So I wait for that "still small voice." "-----And behold there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here Elijah (Marvin)?"
I Kings 19:12-13

Be Still

Times I feel His presence so intently, so intimately, that it is like He is in the room alongside me or looking over my shoulder. Be still and know that I am God." Be still to know God is with me. The way to God seem one of stillness; stillness of the world within us like when Jesus calmed the storm, still the troubled waters of our minds and clear the lens to see God, to experience God more clearly and more dearly; Be Still.

"Be still and know that I am God: -----" Psalm 46:10

Time races on; life hurries by, but god doesn't . His stillness spans the ages; the same yesterday, today, and forever. Only we change for better or for worse. We get closer or farther away. We wanted closer but we work toward farther away. Working against ourselves and against communion, and relationship with God. Be still.

Be still and know that the decision wasn't obvious. There was never an answer "yes." But each time I decided to "not" do the event, it didn't feel right. It was as if God was not going to open a door or make a path for me with a shout and a blinking sign saying "go here." No, He was going to whisper in a still small voice, a voice I could only hear if I still myself, humbled myself to stillness, that I might be close and intimate to hear, to be inspired and follow the will of God. Perhaps that place with Him is what a large part of the journey is all about anyway: a stillness of self; a closeness with God.

Hope

I Peter 8:15 Hope

We are recognized by our hope. We have hope in a hopeless world. And the world’s wonders, “how can that be?” Are you insane? Haven’t you heard the news? Only a fool would have hope in today’s world. But today’s world is not different than yesterday’s world. There were no “good old days.” For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God – even those from the “good old days.” In our time and in the times before, there is, and has not been any hope in this world aside from Jesus Christ. A phrase from a song say, “my only Hope, God’s only Son. I do believe----"

Sense of Gratitude

Looking through all my records here on my computer this afternoon. In a moment of enlightened awareness, it came to me: I have been so blessed. These records and writings of my experiences assimilate into a sense of gratitude: What a great life I have had! I told my wife of my realization, of my gratitude of the wonderful things I have had opportunity for. I thanked her for being a big part of my access into a life will lived. But, I know; keenly aware, that God has been in and through it all. Blessed by God to a life I am grateful for and expectation and hope for the one He has yet to reveal. I would imagine I will be even more grateful and grateful to Jesus for what He did that I might have that life and have it abundantly.

A Violet Person

This time of the year the violets push through the leaves of the forest floor and send forth a small, beautiful, fragile-looking flower as a herald to the certainty of spring. My mother loved violets. This time of the year she would like to walk the woods and trails seeking them out to become excited when she found one of the little blue flowers. When she got where she could not walk so well, I took her violet-looking and she loved it still in a childlike way.
I was never sure why she loved the violets so much – I should have asked – but I can guess. For one, they are some of the first flowers of spring, blooming in the face of cold weather yet to come. Another is that violets push their way through leaves and debris on the forest flower to forge a place in the sun; a place to bloom at last in defiance of winter, and its surroundings. It seems it is determined to share its beauty in spite of it all.

Mother was like that. Mother was like that violet. In spite of all the pain I have seen her bear, somehow she could always manage a smile. In spite of her confinement and deprivation in nursing homes, she always had a good word for the staff and her visitors. Her smile was what everyone remembers; just like the beauty of the violet, struggling to smile in spite of all holding it down, in spite of wintery weather yet to come. God help me be a violet person for Your Glory.

Night Running: Knowing the Way

The days are short and my seven mile run ran out of time. I was on my trails in the woods and it was dark. All I had was the outline of the beaten path to guide me. Running at night like this is sort of other worldly. Not being able to see my feet that well, it was like running over the earth rather than on it; a kind of magic carpet ride in the dark. I had done this trail many times so without seeing, I knew where the trip hazards were. Two large shapes loomed across the trail just ahead: deer, who scampered off a short distance to watch this crazy human run in the dark.

The path God has set before us is well tread, the hazards well-marked. And, even in the dark times when life seems to run out of light, we still can know the Way.

Leaving a Mark

We all want to leave a mark, a memory, a thought, for all who might remain. But why? Isn't that an ego experience, to leave something of us alive here on earth? Is this just a thinly disguised attempt to avoid death? In the secular and in the long term, we will not avoid death. It is hard to accept our own present, and certainly future obscurity. The song goes, "will all who come behind us find us faithful?" But reality suggests that unless we are one of the very, very few, the ones who come behind us won't find us at all.

Except for a few, what we will leave is a nameless influence. The habits, tendencies and beliefs we imprinted through influence, by our own force of character is all that will remain. And in death there is not ego. We will most likely be given credit for that influence we left. And why should we? The habits, tendencies, and beliefs we left are just echoes of the imprints someone nameless left us. We won't get credit and praise. So if a pat on the back in the grave is what we seek; get over it, not going to be.

I think I will let God keep score and try to work not to gain recognition for my legacy or influence, but do what I can, what I am called to do, for the Glory of God. And if good comes from that down through generations past me, they can say, "Look at all God has done."