"Lord, Please Heal Me."

 The rib cage and back pain from the bike wreck were excruciating at times.  Lying down was the worst of times, and the longer one lay down, the more pain and stiffness.  The pain came in spasms, seemingly gripping the whole rib cage to the extent that it made breathing impaired. These were not the best of times, and it seemed doubtful this would ever end.   Night after night, trying to sleep in a recliner imposed a severe sleep deficit. Would this ever end?

A couple of weeks went by with little or no relief. Deep breathing and trying to relax against the spasms helped some, and prayer after prayer was desperately offered.  "Lord, please heal me."  The name of Jesus was recited in a sort of chant, but the impetus of the recitation was "Please heal me."  And the spasms continued.  

Knowing my natural self, the thought occurred that if I did get healed, it probably wouldn't be appreciated.   Like the time my father and I got a cow out of a mud hole it would have died in, only to have the cow chase us to hurt us when we finally got it out.  No good deed goes unpunished, they say. Would this be me?

One day, miraculously, the pain began to subside.  The spasms abated, and now there is no longer a pain issue. Just as expected, I find a terrible propensity to just go on ungrateful.  As I bore myself against the spasms and the pain, I try my best to bear up against my lesser self that would ignore God's blessing and just go on in the natural man; go on in the ungrateful.    

This is more than a relief from pain going on here; it is my chance to grow, to make gratitude to God in me a bigger focus than it was before.  And so I pray:  "I am naturally ungrateful.  Mold me, Lord. Change me, Lord.  Please heal me."

And thanks be to God from whom all blessings flow.

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