I have been training for an Ironman event but injuries have plagued me. Prayer has been supplemented with heat, ice, stretching but things still hurt. I prayed about this back in November when I started the training. I prayed every time an obstacle came up and God seemed to open up the will to go on. I have sensed God's pleasure in me doing both the training and the eventual event, for His glory. Lately, I have been on the borderline to cashing it all in. The injuries didn't seem to get better. Today though, I felt pretty good. Things didn't hurt quite so much. God do you want me to go on? I will,you know, if that is what you would have me do. God, I prayed, I wish I knew. Do you want me to go on? Just a hint? Any clue? My 61 mile bike ride was great and I had planned to try a run after the ride. Wow, but I felt great - But -
The first step of the run brought a fractured feeling of pain upon impact. Each step my hip feel worse. Barely moving forward, it wasn't just a lot of pain but pure misery. And I knew. It was one of those moments of absolute clarity when you just know? This game] was over. I had been given my hint; my clue. Head bowed and spirit sagged as I slowly walked back to my vehicle. Humbled, hurting, heartbroken, nevertheless, I had heard and I knew it was real. There would be no going on. It was over.
Back at the vehicle, with watery eyes and wounded heart, I prayed and listened, prayed and listened. Through the pain of the moment, two words were pressed upon my heart; two words that kept repeating themselves time and again: "Trust me. Trust me." And so, I will trust and follow His calling to have faith in the dark; called to trust when I have toiled and toiled and sown but reaped not; faith to trust when I cannot fathom reasons nor see the road ahead. Faith: seeing through a glass darkly; trusting.