Perhaps
I can’t say I quite understand it. Interest in almost anything is lacking. Writing is not doing well. Originality and spontaneity are missed, and I really don’t care about talking to other people like I once did. The order of the day seems to be just to contemplate. But, I feel really close to God, and my life seems to be one long prayer or conversation with Him. So it can’t be all bad, I suppose. It's a different me. Cancer, medications, limitations, and life being relegated to mostly medical issues have forged a different me. With an unknown and/or limited future, it seems harder to get excited about anything, and perhaps I am more prepared than ever to go on to the next world. There is less of the world and so much quiet time. I wonder why and what exactly happened. I wonder too if I have become so internally focused that my interest in other people and worldly issues has waned. Can I be s...