Moments

    If you did not feel love growing up, it manifests itself later in life by being driven to think you have to earn love. Consequently, we end up caring too much about what others think. We tend to be always trying not to disappoint others.   Y ou are reactive and run from conflict. – The FEAR OF REJECTION dominates every interaction, whether we realize it or not.   This is a close topic for me, which is why I understand it so well.  Later in life now, looking back, I can see this people  pleaser person I let myself be.  How many others out there who spent their life trying to please their father, wishing they would just get one pat on the back, some kind of approval, and acceptance?  How many others have taken this approval deficit and made a lifestyle from it?  Is it any wonder folks like me well up inside when confronted with the unconditional love of God, a God who loves me warts and all, failures, and losses?  A God who ta...

Back injury, back pain, sleepless nights with lots of time to be in reflection;  that's the burden for the past few weeks.  Thoughts of future physical limitations sometimes bring doubt, dread, and fear.  What good can come of this ordeal except to burden my caretaker with loving concern?   Where's the "All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose?" It's here.  I am not ready to cash in my chips just yet.  Consequently, I have prayed and kept God closer during these times than I can ever remember.  God got very real with me.  "I can do all things through Christ that strengenth me," is what I come back to in the night and times of solitary pain.   He is very near, and my faith and hope abide for whatever and wherever He takes me to.  Pain raised my faith threshold.   

  It is easy to drift into pessimism about our world today.  The media is all "gotcha" oriented; who told off whom, and who was right and who was wrong.  If you really take in the arguments of both sides, it may lead you to believe that there are no good guys out there anymore.   Our spirits are under attack by the vortex of anger, lies and half-truths aimed at winning out over each other.  Who knows what to believe?  And this media of despair dispersion sucks us into the game.  In the process, we lose some of our hope and a lot of our joy for life. Maybe that is the plan.  "The devil came to kill and destroy."  Perhaps the intent is to kill our joy and destroy our hope.  And a world without hope is an easy target to take down. But what if the world got another highly communicable disease we have no vaccine or treatment for?  What if the world broke out into an epidemic of love for our fellow man?  What if incurable caring...

  L ooking out across a once fertile, vibrant hay meadow, in a state of degradation. The fences are down with no boundaries set, and weeds and berry vines cover most of this once lush green pasture. The good grass is crowded out, the field is unkempt, unfertilized, and unmowed. Now the good grass, the grass that makes hay, cannot get enough sun or nutrients to grow.   Sometimes this could be a picture of our own spiritual degradation and even our personal and physical degradation.    Our world seem s to be starving to death for spiritual nutrients and Son-light in our lives .  Sometimes I do too. My pasture gets overrun with the weeds and berry vines of life.  I fail to set or maintain boundaries to keep the wandering sins in the world from wandering on my pasture.   Jesus said, "I am the Light of the world."  I don't know about you, but I have some mowing and fencing building to do.  I want that Light on my pasture, don'...

  Oftentimes I just need to talk or share with you God.   So I write to you now for a multitude of reasons all of which you know already. And the fact that   you know already and see right through me, is one of the reasons I write to you:   I will have to be honest.    You won’t be fooled by lame excuses and half-truths about myself. First, I want to thank you. Oh, there are so many things to be thankful for:   so many.   I am especially thankful that you have tenderized my heart to the suffering of others.   It wasn’t this way before.   We both know that this isn’t the me that would be if it weren’t for you working within me.     I praise you for that, and I am thankful that you found me worthy of tenderizing.   In the world, there seems to be a vast sea of deadened hearts untouched by the offering of the warmth of your love.  And, as I sense the chill in the world,  I realize the value for good of just one ...

  The man stops at the top of the stairs every morning after waking, holds on to the rails, and lifts his head in a prayer of gratitude.   He can smell the coffee brewing, or maybe too, some pre-breakfast snack to go with the coffee.  He embraces the day by going outside on the porch, where he pets his cats, who eagerly await his attention.  He breathes deeply, taking in the sounds and smells of the field and woods, and the fog gently rising from the earth. One more day;  thank you, Lord, for this day and all you have in it for me.  If it be my last, so be it.  I will be with you. Come, Holy Spirit, and pervade my thoughts and direct my paths the way I should go. The short prayer, followed by coffee and a closeness, and a certain gratitude.  Closer to Jesus already.  It's going to be a great day, says the man. He's right. Praise God. Amen.

  Easter morning thought -  in the song "I've Just Seen Jesus," by the Gaithers the setting is the empty tomb and Mary crying about the Lord being gone.  And she supposed the man outside the tomb to be the gardener who asked why she was crying. The song goes, "As I sobbed in despair, my Lord is not there.  He said Child, it is I.  I am here . I've just seen Jesus, I know that He's alive---." How many times have we, have I sobbed in despair in a sense at all the heartaches and disappointments life can inflict upon us?  How many of these times have I "sobbed in despair," not realizing the antidote to despair and that the  Giver of hope was standing right before me?   How precious are those times when I finally saw Jesus for who He truly is and realizing, "Child, it is I.  I am here?" What a comfort. The tomb is empty: "Death has lost and life has won." Jesus is very near.  Praise God for Easter Morning.

  Life is slippery sometimes, and sometimes, the comfortable, safe, and easy things grease the hands to such an extent that real life  can become hard to hold on to. It slips away moment by moment, attending to maintaining the status quo of an easy life. It becomes a continuing personal, physical, and even spiritual degradation process. Instead of honing skills toward peace, performance, and personal improvement at some risk, we became proficient at quickly making excuses. Self-deception and denial can become our sport and greatest skill.   Small aches become perceived as big pains and small issues can take on the appearance of major problems.   We try to give it a value it doesn't have. But self-deception never really works. Deep down, in quiet moments, we know the truth. We just can't confront it directly. It is just too hurtful to our comfortable little lives built on illusion.  We are scared.  So, I guess I want to be fearless.  The Bible...

  "What's the major difference in the Old Testament and the New Testament?' "The Old Testament is about the fall." "And? "It is like the verse from the hymn says: 'Christ has regarded my helpless estate,'  Old Testament. 'And shed His own blood for my soul,'  New Testament. "For God so loved---"  Praise God.

  Spring- the trees have started budding, promising a full, vigorous foliage.  Why? A simple, even slight turn or tilt of the world, changes things to winter or renews growth.   So I have found in the Christian walk.  Salvation comes in like springtime, all fresh and budding, holding promises of the abundant life with Jesus Christ.  But it doesn't end there.  Life is not all blooming roses and sunshine.  Plants need light to grow.  So do we.  We need the Light with a capital "L."  We need the Light of the world.  We need that Light within us for, unlike the trees and other plants, sometimes our faith has to grow in the dark.  Some time in the dark, all we have is that faith in the eternal springtime as promised by our Lord.  When the world turns dark, the light God put within us is all we have to find our way through the storms and disasters life inflicts upon us. T "Faith is the bird that sings in the dark."  Tr...

 I felt compelled to pray as we left for this fishing trip on the coast.  It wasn't a natural thing to do as my two fishing partners were not especially faith-driven.  But, they complied and I prayed with them over our safety on this venture. The trip went well until coming back we came upon a large barge, going the same direction down the canal we were traveling.  My friend with the boat pulled out and began to pass this large vessel and as soon as he had cleared the barge, he immediately cut in front of it. That's when our engine sputtered, stalled, and quit, right in front of the oncoming barge.  Our engine wouldn't start and I got out the paddles and one friend and I began to paddle furiously to get out of the path on the barge.  It was getting closer.  We paddled harder. I wasn't sure we could get out of the way in time.  Meanwhile, my friend continued to try to start the engine.  It seemed a moment to exercise my faith in whatever might...

  Did you forget to drink?  Most of the I did forget.  Working outside, I get so involved in my projects that my thirst goes unnoticed and I go on and on, until fatigue sets in, making me stop.  It is only then that I find the water and at first sip realize just how thirsty I have been all this time.  So I find in my thirst for God. Life gets so involved and all encompassing and urgency is often the theme of the day.  And when things go awry and I have to stop.  Then it is that  I finally get still that I begin to realize how much I have needed God all along.  I was thirsty and didn't know it.  I didn't drink of His goodness.  I didn't trust Him in the midst of the storm.  I didn't bring Him into my urgencies or my everyday life.   God has instilled within us a thirst for Him that only He can satisfy.   Now, I am terribly thirsty. Come close, He says, and place your burdens upon Me.  Come close, thirsty...

My septic field line was stopped up. Nothing seemed to work until  I dug a large hole over the line and took a chain saw to the sewer pipe.  Things  happened.  With some help from a  high pressure water hose the blockage started coming loose. However the large hole I was spread eagled over began to fill up.  In fact, I was so stretched out over the large hole that I knew it would be tenuous to get out of that position.  I tried and it was going OK  until I slipped a bit on wet clay and I started on a fall. Not wanted to fall into the large hole of filling sewer, I quickly rolled the side and somehow managed to stay on the edge of the hole and finally rolled myself over wet sewer mud to get out. Looking back it was a funny but pleasant experience.  I was OK  The line came unclogged, the water in the hole went down and it all ended well.  Not a bad day...thanks God. Life has had me stretched out about to fall into the sewers of life b...

  New Years Day, resolution time for some.  There are lots of ways and resolutions to improve our lives we think.  Most fall impotent before "the way it has always been," after a short time. Maybe a big reason  at this is because we are resolving to lift ourselves up, improve ourselves?  Maybe these are futile efforts at self-determinism. Perhaps, we didn't "seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matt 6:33) ? Seek His righteousness?  First? Does that mean we need to get closer to God and His righteousness?  If so, How do we do that?   When I go to church, I take a bath, shave, put on clean clothes.  To approach God and get close, perhaps we need to ask God to help us clean up for church, so to speak. " Search me and, O God, and know my heart:  try me and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way  in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23...