Do I Have the Guts to Quit

Here it is in February and I am still in a state of indecision.  Do I continue with this Ironman training effort.  Yesterday, my soul seemed so laden and I was so sure the answer was quit and do something more productive; something of better use of my passion and learning and God given abilities.  Why keep hammering away trying to just get by at something I have no talent at all for? Why stay brain dead from the fatigue of the training anymore?  Haven't I done years of that?  Is that some hide-out scheme with ready made excuses for lack of performance in other areas of life?  It seems lately that I have no passion for it anymore; the quest seems like a de-fizzed coke.  

And I keep praying for a sign; begging God for an answer.  And I wonder:  haven't I been given one?   Still, everyday I get up and put off doing what I don't have the passion for anymore.  And, the loss of passion and the daily procrastination has built in me an element of a lack of self respect. 

But, what will others say?  What about those I supposedly inspire?  Or, do I overestimate my own importance?  Am I  assuming that they will flounder and fail if I don't keep on propping them up with all this alleged inspiration?  Could there be some pride involved here or some fear of the future without  ironman training to lean upon and  perhaps hide behind.   Do I have the guts to face myself?   Do I have the guts to quit?

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