Moments

We know its out there, but we cover death up with bus,y with entertainment and comfort.  We watch the news about the world coming to an end, then blame some politicians or political parties and excuse the awareness of our own greatest vulnerability:  sooner or later, we are going to die.   Do we really have the time and effort to expend on this fear facade that the media portrays to the world to be like?   In our denial, we sometimes work hard and long at something as if we can push death back with our notions that if we are doing something really important and world-saving, death or the thought of it can be put off.  And we are so busy.  We must be doing something terribly important and earth-shattering to be so busy.  Surely, death will leave us alone until all our tasks are completed?   But the truth is that death is right here, moving among us daily, moment by moment, actually. But the stark realization of death makes life more ...

  What can God do with me?   Notice I didn't say, "What can I do for God?"  But that was my throw down first question to myself. The answer to that question is "nothing."   God is all in all.  What service or sacrifice we do is not to help Him because he is so busy and needs a hand or that we can earn our way to heaven.  No,  God gives us the privilege of sharing in His work.  It is much like a father teaching a young boy how to build something.  The father lets the son do as much as he can  though he much slower and makes lots of mistakes but in the process he learns the fathers' ways of building things. Think about it.  The Father created the universe.  Why would you think He would need your help now.   No, we are blessed to be allowed to participate in the building of His kingdom.   We are in training to serve and sacrifice for God.  We have have been given a calling, a purpose, and the spe...

 It was hard to pray and feel close. It was hard to keep trying when the Spirit seemed distant.   These can be frustrating times that have been happening a lot lately.  I need to hear from God.  I need to feel his presence, but the lines seem to be down between me and God.  What do I do?"  What am I doing wrong?  It's hot here.  We have fans circulating the cool air from the air conditioning.  And they make a noise we have grown accustomed to.   One day, while trying to pray, the electricity went out.  The fans sputtered to a stop, and it got quiet.  I hadn't realized how noisy I was living until the electricity went out.  And, the prayer door opened and I stepped through into a closer presence with God.  What comes between us and God is often the self-inflicted noise and hassle we inflict into our lives.  "Be still and know that I am God.-" and while I'm at it get quiet.  Turn the fans in your lif...

  Prayer was consistent.  Things that happened, other peoples needs and decisions had been covered in prayer, but there was a closeness missing with Jesus that I had once experienced.  I knew how good things could be, so I knew that something was missing.  Nothing seemed to close the gap over the last week or so until - The run this morning was a steamer in the light rain and oppressive humidity, but it went well.  Afterwards, a shower.  However, even after a shower, the sweating continued, and I sat in my recliner before a fan to cool off.  Kick back - nice.  Close my eyes, enjoying the breeze - wonderful.  Thank you, Jesus.  Thank you, I can still do this even now,  I am so blessed.  Oh, thank you.   When I opened my eyes, something clicked "on."  It was back. That special closeness...it's back.  And the words of an old Rod Stewart song came to mind, "Have I told you lately that I love you.  Have I to...

  The rib cage and back pain from the bike wreck were excruciating at times.  Lying down was the worst of times, and the longer one lay down, the more pain and stiffness.  The pain came in spasms, seemingly gripping the whole rib cage to the extent that it made breathing impaired. These were not the best of times, and it seemed doubtful this would ever end.   Night after night, trying to sleep in a recliner imposed a severe sleep deficit. Would this ever end? A couple of weeks went by with little or no relief. Deep breathing and trying to relax against the spasms helped some, and prayer after prayer was desperately offered.  "Lord, please heal me."  The name of Jesus was recited in a sort of chant, but the impetus of the recitation was "Please heal me."  And the spasms continued.   Knowing my natural self,  the thought occurred that if I did get healed, it probably wouldn't be appreciated.   Like the time my father and I g...

    If you did not feel love growing up, it manifests itself later in life by being driven to think you have to earn love. Consequently, we end up caring too much about what others think. We tend to be always trying not to disappoint others.   Y ou are reactive and run from conflict. – The FEAR OF REJECTION dominates every interaction, whether we realize it or not.   This is a close topic for me, which is why I understand it so well.  Later in life now, looking back, I can see this people  pleaser person I let myself be.  How many others out there who spent their life trying to please their father, wishing they would just get one pat on the back, some kind of approval, and acceptance?  How many others have taken this approval deficit and made a lifestyle from it?  Is it any wonder folks like me well up inside when confronted with the unconditional love of God, a God who loves me warts and all, failures, and losses?  A God who ta...