The Person Inside

 

Inside me is another person.  That person is greater than myself.  He is the person I aspire to be. The person I could be, but haven’t reached quite high enough yet.   

 My performances and conduct are constantly being monitored by him for his approval or disapproval.  He is not a conscience.  Right or wrong are involved, but not in the traditional sense.  What is traditionally called right or wrong is often contradicted by my other self.  I find myself doing the right thing according to him and the wrong thing according to traditional concepts of right and wrong. 

 Pleasing everyone else is not nearly as important to me as pleasing this “other self,” this higher self, that I am called to be.  This self is hard to live with when I let him down.  Therefore, my performance and or behavior is not necessarily judged in terms of others, but in respect of how good he thinks I can or should be. 

 This is not the traditional good versus evil warring inside me but a different person, completely separate.  What is really right or really wrong is determined by comparing my behavior or performance to what he would do under the same circumstances.

 The other man is the deity in my, my ideal me.  I can only try to emulate him, realizing all the time, I will never succeed; I will never be my own equal.

 

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