Moments

  They said I had AFIB and was at high risk of stroke if I don't take blood thinners.  They said that on blood thinners, I should be careful not to incur a serious wound, as the bleeding might be hard to stop.  They said my heart rate was too low and I could die in my sleep at any time.  They said all the plant-based eating and exercise, with no smoking,  no alcohol, and trying to get plenty of rest, means little, as I was like all the rest in this condition, with essentially one foot in the grave and doctor-dependent.  My whole life future was articulated in a 10-15 minute doctor consultation.   I could have believed maybe I didn’t have long to live. But, they didn't really know that.  God does.  The lack of confidence in the medical profession and the dire prospects predicted by them for my life drove me straight to God.  I considered that I might be getting prepared to meet Him, but I was peaceful about it.  God and I go...

  The hawk flew low and into the wind on this clear day.  He screamed defiance at the world below as he made his way into the strong wind.  Many times, he screamed as his flight carried him directly over my head.  Quite unexpectedly, I felt a sense of awe for this bird’s audacity and his spirit.    Awe turned to envy; envious of the truly free.   Am I but a trained falcon; tethered by a cord, tasting limited episodes of freedom on a short leash?   The wild hawk takes his own chances and pays his own dues.   Many nights he is cold; he is sometimes hungry; most times alone; but he is always free.   Then the envy turned to a slight touch of sadness for all that’s been lost.  

  Shouldn’t have done it.   Knew better.   But “want to get this done” took over.   This pasture needs mowing, and I want to finish it today.   My tractor wouldn’t work.   How can I get this done?   Oh yeah, borrow my friend’s tractor.   He said, “Just come and get it anytime.”   He’s gone for a few days.   Why not?   Because he is a picky-picky about stuff, guaranteed to find something you did to his tractor you shouldn’t have.   The offer was a trap, and you know it.   But he’s not home.   And you need to get this pasture mowed.   I just couldn’t seem to help myself.   I was incensed to get that pasture mowed today or that night, as it was getting late. So I drove over to his place about five miles away.   I started his tractor up and drove it to my place.   I noticed the key was a little loose in the ignition, but it seemed to be holding up well.   It was just getting dark when I st...

  Do our circumstances determine our attitude?  Is the weather in our lives the determinant of how we feel about life, how we embrace life, how we see God? Do we resent having to go through all these hardships when you supposedly gave your heart and life to a loving God?   Are we living by feeling rather than faith? Or, are we content in our faith no matter the circumstances?  Are we at peace, and like Paul, who said he learned that in whatever state he was in, to be content? In doing so, do we move closer to a life lived by faith? Have we fully submitted our lives to God and trust God, no matter what?  It's not that easy sometimes. It's a learning and growing experience, and it means allowing God's power to  come into our weakness so He can give us the power to "do all things through Him that strengtheneth me."  Amen

    In our darkest moments, we don’t need solutions or advice.   What we yearn for is simply human connection- a quiet presence, a gentle touch.   These small gestures are the anchors that hold us steady when life feels like too much.   Please don’t try to fix me.   Don’t take on my pain or push away my shadows.   Just sit beside me as I work through my own inner storms.   Be the steady hand I can reach for as I find my way My pain is mine to carry, my battles mine to face.   But your presence reminds me I’m not alone in this vast, sometimes frightening world.   It’s a quiet reminder that I am worthy of love, even when I feel broken.   So, in those dark hours when I lose my way, will you just be here?   Not as a rescuer, but as a companion. Hold my hand until the dawn arrives, helping me remember my strength.   Your silent support is the most precious gift you can give.   It's a love that helps me remember who I...

  Inside me is another person.   That person is greater than myself.   He is the person I aspire to be. The person I could be, but haven’t reached quite high enough yet.      My performances and conduct are constantly being monitored by him for his approval or disapproval.   He is not a conscience.   Right or wrong are involved, but not in the traditional sense.   What is traditionally called right or wrong is often contradicted by my other self.   I find myself doing the right thing according to him and the wrong thing according to traditional concepts of right and wrong.     Pleasing everyone else is not nearly as important to me as pleasing this “other self,” this higher self, that I am called to be.   This self is hard to live with when I let him down.   Therefore, my performance and or behavior is not necessarily judged in terms of others, but in respect of how good he thinks I can or should be.   ...