Moments

The rib‑cage and back pain from the bike wreck were, at times, excruciating. Lying down was the worst of it; the longer I stayed down, the more the stiffness and pain gathered strength. The spasms would seize the entire rib cage, gripping so tightly that even breathing felt impaired. These were not the best of times, and it often seemed doubtful that any of it would ever end. Night after night, trying to sleep in a recliner only deepened the exhaustion. I kept wondering if relief would ever come. Weeks passed with little improvement. Deep breathing and trying to relax into the spasms offered only small mercy. Prayer after prayer rose up — “Lord, please heal me.” I repeated the name of Jesus almost like a chant, but the heart of it was always the same plea: “Please heal me.” And still, the spasms continued. Knowing my own tendencies, a troubling thought surfaced: If I were healed, would I even appreciate it? I remembered the time my father and I pulled a cow from a mud hole it surely wo...

    If you did not feel love growing up, it manifests itself later in life by being driven to think you have to earn love. Consequently, we end up caring too much about what others think. We tend to be always trying not to disappoint others.   Y ou are reactive and run from conflict. – The FEAR OF REJECTION dominates every interaction, whether we realize it or not.   This is a close topic for me, which is why I understand it so well.  Later in life now, looking back, I can see this people  pleaser person I let myself be.  How many others out there who spent their life trying to please their father, wishing they would just get one pat on the back, some kind of approval, and acceptance?  How many others have taken this approval deficit and made a lifestyle from it?  Is it any wonder folks like me well up inside when confronted with the unconditional love of God, a God who loves me warts and all, failures, and losses?  A God who ta...

Back injury, back pain, sleepless nights with lots of time to be in reflection;  that's the burden for the past few weeks.  Thoughts of future physical limitations sometimes bring doubt, dread, and fear.  What good can come of this ordeal except to burden my caretaker with loving concern?   Where's the "All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose?" It's here.  I am not ready to cash in my chips just yet.  Consequently, I have prayed and kept God closer during these times than I can ever remember.  God got very real with me.  "I can do all things through Christ that strengenth me," is what I come back to in the night and times of solitary pain.   He is very near, and my faith and hope abide for whatever and wherever He takes me to.  Pain raised my faith threshold.   

  It is easy to drift into pessimism about our world today.  The media is all "gotcha" oriented; who told off whom, and who was right and who was wrong.  If you really take in the arguments of both sides, it may lead you to believe that there are no good guys out there anymore.   Our spirits are under attack by the vortex of anger, lies and half-truths aimed at winning out over each other.  Who knows what to believe?  And this media of despair dispersion sucks us into the game.  In the process, we lose some of our hope and a lot of our joy for life. Maybe that is the plan.  "The devil came to kill and destroy."  Perhaps the intent is to kill our joy and destroy our hope.  And a world without hope is an easy target to take down. But what if the world got another highly communicable disease we have no vaccine or treatment for?  What if the world broke out into an epidemic of love for our fellow man?  What if incurable caring...

  L ooking out across a once fertile, vibrant hay meadow, in a state of degradation. The fences are down with no boundaries set, and weeds and berry vines cover most of this once lush green pasture. The good grass is crowded out, the field is unkempt, unfertilized, and unmowed. Now the good grass, the grass that makes hay, cannot get enough sun or nutrients to grow.   Sometimes this could be a picture of our own spiritual degradation and even our personal and physical degradation.    Our world seem s to be starving to death for spiritual nutrients and Son-light in our lives .  Sometimes I do too. My pasture gets overrun with the weeds and berry vines of life.  I fail to set or maintain boundaries to keep the wandering sins in the world from wandering on my pasture.   Jesus said, "I am the Light of the world."  I don't know about you, but I have some mowing and fencing building to do.  I want that Light on my pasture, don'...

  Oftentimes, I just need to talk or share with you, God.   So I write to you now for a multitude of reasons, all of which you know already. And the fact that  you know already and see right through me is one of the reasons I write to you:   I will have to be honest.    You won’t be fooled by lame excuses and half-truths about me. First, I want to thank you. There are so many things to be grateful for—so many. I’m especially thankful that you’ve softened my heart to the suffering of others. It wasn’t always this way, and we both know I wouldn’t be who I am without your work in me. I praise you for that and for finding me worthy of this change.  In this world, there seems to be a vast sea of hearts untouched by the warmth of your love. As I feel the chill around me, I realize the power of just one heart warmed by you—changed now and forever. You’ve given me the only value I have. Still, I know I have many rough edges. I’m not yet where I want or need ...

  The man stops at the top of the stairs every morning after waking, holds on to the rails, and lifts his head in a prayer of gratitude.   He can smell the coffee brewing, or maybe too, some pre-breakfast snack to go with the coffee.  He embraces the day by going outside on the porch, where he pets his cats, who eagerly await his attention.  He breathes deeply, taking in the sounds and smells of the field and woods, and the fog gently rising from the earth. One more day;  thank you, Lord, for this day and all you have in it for me.  If it be my last, so be it.  I will be with you. Come, Holy Spirit, and pervade my thoughts and direct my paths the way I should go. The short prayer, followed by coffee and a closeness, and a certain gratitude.  Closer to Jesus already.  It's going to be a great day, says the man. He's right. Praise God. Amen.